I love these excuses and things that women like to throw out there to shield their egos and to mask the fact that they and the majority of our race have issues with our hair. Things like “here come the hair police” and “black women can wear their hair how ever they want”. Nobody said you couldn’t wear your hair the way you want to, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have deeper issues with your hair.
You can bleach your skin too because you have the right to do so, but that does not mean that you don’t have some things that you need to work on when it comes to self love and accepting who you are in all of it’s totality. As black people we all do because when your a group of people walking around and the majority of your race have relaxers, weaves and everything else BUT their own hair, there’s obviously a problem. No, I won’t be quiet about it and I’ll gladly be the hair police if my job title is to tell the truth about black women and our hair and how depending on relaxers and and weaves is not just a “choice” but it’s actually a sign of mental slavery. I know black people don’t like the truth because the truth is painful but if we ever want to get away from white people making the decisions about what’s acceptable and what’s not, we have to face the truth head on.
So yes, I really hope that Viola Davis does step out with her natural hair and hold her head up high and be an example to all the young girls watching that you ARE beautiful and you can be successful with your natural hair. Of course she doesn’t HAVE to, but it would really be a beautiful moment if she did.
This is such a great comment and good conversation.
I am going to try not to keep going crazy with the reblogs but if you get a chance, read this entire conversation. Good stuff from both sides.
THE ENTIRE BOLDED COMMENT.
Thank you so fucking much, you voiced exactly what I’m thinking/feeling but I did not feel like typing that all out for some folks who act like they don’t know this shit.
People say “we can do whatever we want with out hair” like they don’t know about all the shit black womyn go through about their shade, their hair texture, the size of their nose, hips, asses. Please. Acting like we’re in some vacuum that has everyone and every thing on some level playing field where no foul play has ever occurred.
Yup, you can do whatever you want with your hair. But do not pretend that when you straighten that shit you are not playing up to the very same thing all of the womyn in black Amerikkka have been struggling with since before they could even comprehend what a perm was. Do not pretend that we as a community don’t suffer severely of oppression induced self-hatred, or use “nappy” as a bad word.
I totally agree with OP.
It is so sad that so many black people are still in denial regarding the long-lasting effects of white supremacy on how we perceive ourselves, our hair, lips noses etc … As if the fact that the overwhelming majority of black women wear wig and relax their hair is the sheer product of their choice. As if self-hate didnt exist. I am a black woman and I know it is bull. To claim that black women deal with their hair the same way white women do, is utterly ridiculous. Of course relaxed hair can’t and shouldn’t be equated to self-hate. But to try and shut down other black women for bringing up something THEY EXPERIENCE TOO - and they have the legitimacy to talk about, their opinions as black women is just as valid - by claiming that they are policing your behavior, by being on the defensive, you perfectly illustrate how emotionally charged this topic is for you.
Many of us are still slaves TO eurocentric standards of beauty and denying IT won’t change the fact that most little black girls would pick a white doll over a black doll and call the black doll “ugly”!!
I’ve gone through decades of hair wars and, now, I simply don’t let people bother me about my hair. I do a agree with some of the commentary on this post, tho perhaps not all.
I’ve worn my hair in natural styles for years, since the last time I permed my hair and for once it really, truly turned out like white people’s hair. Wouldn’t hold a curl, flopped about all over the place, fell out of rubber bands, blew in my eyes, would not stay where I put it for anything at all—in fact, the hair I dreamed of having when I used to wrap a towel around my head and swing it about when I was a little girl. Only, once I had it I hated it—absolutely hated it, and I have been afraid ever since to perm my hair for fear that will happen again. So, I am slowly learning natural styles so that I can do something else besides just throw it into french braids or something.
I have only recently learned to twist effectively and I love it, except for the time it takes), but I have no problem with people who straighten their hair, wear wigs, so on. My daughter, for instance, wears wigs, weaves, extensions, all that. One day she has black hair, next day fire engine red bits, bright orange, pink and so on. Some days it’s short, other days it’s very long, and on yet other days it’s all hers. She treats her hair as an accessory and has great fun with it.
Does a lot of this playing around have its roots (no pun intended) in how white people have viewed Black hair and in their anti-Blackness? Very likely. But very little that she does is for the white gaze, at least as far as she is concerned.
Yet, no matter her self confidence, the wearing of all this other hair has its effect on others. My granddaughter perms her hair and won’t even consider wearing her hair in a natural style. She also has issues surrounding skin color as she is very dark and has trouble accepting that she is very beautiful, absolutely gorgeous in fact. I’m hopeful that she will slowly (or quickly) build up more confidence in herself, particularly now that she is out of the vortex of mean children (aka high school.)
So, I don’t know. I fall into the “do what you want with your hair” camp, I guess, though I would hope that people are doing what they want for conscious reasons. Even if those reasons are to fit in better with white people on the job, or because the person prefers their hair to look a certain way, or because they want the ease of not bothering with hair that is attached to their head at all. I’ve known women who’ve worn afro wigs, for just that reason.